


Party Poison and the No Good, Very Bad (But Awesome) Hair Day

by Spooberdem (orphan_account)



Series: Dorky Days: The True Lives of the Fabulously Hilarious Killjoys [1]
Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album), My Chemical Romance
Genre: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, Gen, Nonbinary Party Poison, kinda crack fic maybe, random funny shit about the killjoys, these are just thoughts i have
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 20:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16394186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Spooberdem
Summary: The story of why Party has red hair.





	Party Poison and the No Good, Very Bad (But Awesome) Hair Day

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy, this is the first in what will hopefully a little series of funny Killjoys oneshots. The events that take place in this story are from something I mentioned in my first Killjoy fic, Sing It For The World. Link here:https://archiveofourown.org/works/16383695
> 
> Btw, I haven't read the Killjoy comic book series yet, so I highly doubt you'll find anything from the books in here or in any of my other Killjoy fics.
> 
> Just so no one gets confused: I use they/them pronouns for Party Poison, because I'm going with the idea that Party is nonbinary.
> 
> If you see any typos or mistakes, those are mine, sorry. Enjoy!

     ‘Seriously, you want to bet?’

     ‘Why not?’

     Party Poison rolled their eyes at the backseat, where Fun Ghoul was giving them that lazy grin of his.

     ‘Dude, scout patrols are boring. Have a little fun! We’re just counting how many Dracs we can kill.’

     ‘It’s stupid, Ghoul,’ Jet Star muttered. ‘You try to outkill everyone else anyway, let’s just declare you the winner already and leave.’

     ‘Aw, where’s the fun in that?’ Ghoul whined. ‘Fine, you actual literal _Killjoy_ , you don’t have to do it then. But Kobra had better join me on this.’ Party’s kid brother whipped around to face him from the shotgun seat.

     ‘You just want me to bet against you because you know you’ll win,’ Kobra informed him. ‘No need to make fun of me, I know I’m the worst fucking shot in the Zones.’ Ghoul tried to protest, but Kobra gave him a stone-cold death glare. Party grinned. Kobra definitely wasn’t the greatest with a raygun, but oh, if looks could kill, then their brother would be the most wanted killer in Battery City. Well, technically all four of the Killjoys were already on the wanted list, but Kobra would be at the top.

     Party glanced at Kobra, who had turned back around to face the dash. ‘Hey, yeah, your shooting skills could be better, but you’re _sick_ in hand-to-hand.’ Party informed him.

     ‘Ok, but what good is karate against rayguns? Whatever, Party, I’m fine.’ Kobra turned to face the window, ending the conversation. When their brother wasn’t speaking, Party genuinely couldn’t tell how Kobra was feeling. He had the same default expression for basically every emotion known to man, and even when he was talking, most of the time he spoke in a dull monotone.

     ‘Hey, Party, you’re the only one left.’ Ghoul started talking again. ‘Please, can you go against me?’

     ‘No,’ Party told him, trying to drive down the dusty desert road. ‘Just wait until next time, and you can bet with Her.’

     ‘But She’s the only one who’s better at shooting than you or me!’

     Party smirked. ‘Exactly.’

     The Killjoys hadn’t been training the Girl for long, but she was a natural with a raygun and could often shoot beyond Ghoul or Party’s capabilities. The only reason why she wasn’t with them right now was because patrols were run-of-the-mill, and She’d decided to stay at the hideout.

     ‘You’re an ass,’ Ghoul grumbled. ‘Fine, Party, if you win this bet, I’ll switch out of wearing this jacket.’

     ‘Thank God,’ Party muttered under his breath. ‘You look like a fucking bumblebee.’

     ‘Hey, I heard that!’ Ghoul exclaimed before moving on. ‘I’ll trade away the jacket, but Party, if _you_ lose, you have to dye your hair.’ Party ran their hand through their black hair, swept every which way by the wind blowing through the car. Okay, dyeing it wouldn’t be that much of a deal. Well, except for one thing.

     ‘Fine, but-‘

     ‘I get to choose the color!’ Ghoul shouted gleefully.

     _Fuck_.

 

*****

 

     It didn’t take the Killjoys very long to reach what they defined as the outer edges of their ‘territory’. At least, not when Party was at the wheel. They knew that one day they were probably going to wipe out and kill everyone, but now was not the time. Jet Star was basically the Mom Friend among the Killjoys, and he’d be driving at half Party’s speed if he were behind the steering wheel. Hence, none of the Killjoys let Jet drive anywhere.

     Fun Ghoul was fidgeting with the gun in his holster, clearly eager to get the bet started. Or maybe that was just him acting normally before a fight. Seriously, Party swore that if Ghoul had gotten diagnosed before the world went to shit, he’d have ADHD.

     Party began to turn the car, looping around to start heading back to the gas station. Good news, no sign of BL/Ind’s Draculoids so far. Maybe they wouldn’t have to deal with the stupid bet until-

     ‘Hey! Dracs at three o’ clock!’ Ghoul shouted. Goddammit. Sure enough, there were five white-masked men crouched behind a row of brush, and within seconds the air filled with laser bolts. Party skidded the car to a halt and pulled out their raygun. They could drive while shooting, but this time they needed to concentrate. The color of their hair was at stake.

     Party aimed carefully and shot down three Draculoids, one after the other. Not a second later, the other two were dropped by Ghoul. By the time Jet had started firing, the bodies were on the ground, and well, Kobra Kid had tried, but rayguns were really not his thing.

     No sooner were the five Dracs dead when at least eight more appeared on the hill to the east, plus a truck with about ten more. Party opened fire as soon as he could, but these Dracs didn’t go for him. They went for the car instead.

     _Oh no, they didn’t_. The Killjoys’ car was Party’s baby, and if the Draculoids thought they could try and blow up the gas tank? They would turn out to be wrong, bitches. Party slammed their foot down on the gas pedal, and the car shot down the road, leaving a trail of dust in their wake. They wouldn’t be able to shoot anyone through the dust cloud, but at least Ghoul wouldn’t be able to see anything either.

     Suddenly, the Dracs’ truck came racing out of nowhere, nearly plowing the Killjoys off the road. Party swerved just in time, but the car still skidded and they ended up half in the ditch.

     ‘ _Fuck_ ,’ they swore, but there was no time to get the vehicle back on the road. The Dracs had stopped their truck and were piling out, shooting as they went. Party opened the door and fell out onto the ground, taking cover behind the car. Peering out over the hood, they continued to pick off Draculoids. Ghoul and Jet were slaughtering them furiously too, while Kobra had just sat down beside Party, apparently having given up on hitting anything and instead waiting to bust out the karate chops.

     ‘Eight!’ Ghoul shouted over the gunfire. ‘What’ve you got motherfucker?’ Party landed another shot in a Drac’s chest.

     ‘Nine!’

     ‘Fuck!’ came the reply, and Party felt a small smirk creep across their face.

     They continued to shoot down the Draculoids, whose numbers seemed to never end as more and more of them marched over the hill.  Over the next few minutes, Party and Ghoul continued to shout their kill numbers at each other.

     ‘Eleven!’

     ‘I’ve got eleven t- wait, thirteen!’ Ghoul shot down another two masked monstrosities.

     ‘Thirteen now!’

     ‘Fine, fourteen!’

     Finally, _finally_ , no more new Dracs appeared. The ones remaining were at the mercy of the Killjoys. The funny thing about Draculoids: They looked incredibly menacing but couldn’t shoot worth shit through their masks. Party’s count was now at twenty-one, and so was Ghoul’s. They kept matching each other Drac for Drac, until finally only one white soldier remained. Party aimed carefully. This would be the winning kill, and Ghoul could get rid of that hideous jacket. They were about to pull the trigger when the Drac went down in an explosion of smoke and light.

     As the last soldier fell to the ground, Party turned to glare at Ghoul, who was wearing an awful shit-eating grin on his face.

     ‘Sorry,’ he said in a tone that suggested he wasn’t sorry at all. ‘Guess someone has to change their hair color now, huh?’

     ‘I swear to fuck, Ghoul, if you dye my hair green I’m going to ghost you.’

     ‘Nah,’ Ghoul made a dismissive gesture. ‘I’m gonna make you look _awesome_.’

     ‘Doubt it.’

     ‘We’ll see.’

 

*****

 

     ‘Red? Are you fucking serious?’ Party gawked at the crimson container of hair dye Ghoul was waving in their face. Ghoul just smirked.

     ‘First of all, the bet said _I_ get to choose the color, not you,’ he said, counting off of his fingers obnoxiously. ‘Two, trust my fashion style.’

     ‘Says the one who looks like a bee.’

     ‘Yeah, and the one who’s going to stay dressed like a bee until you learn to be a better shot.’

     ‘I had that last Drac!’

     ‘Then you should’ve shot it!’

     ‘I was going to, but _you_ -‘

     ‘Oh my god, _shut up_ ,’ Kobra said, walking into the room. ‘It’s been less than five minutes and I’m already tired of hearing you two argue like some weird couple.’

     ‘Hey, we’re not-‘ Party tried to argue with their brother but Ghoul rolled his eyes and shoved them towards the bathroom.

     ‘Go. Dye. Now.’

     ‘Take that in whatever context of the word you want. Seriously, you two are giving me a headache.’

     ‘Kobra, be quiet,’ Party snapped. ‘Um, I don’t actually know how to do this.’

     ‘You follow the instructions on the bottle, it’s not that hard,’ Kobra gestured to his own bleached-blond hair as he spoke. ‘Actually, you know what? If you’re left by yourself you definitely fuck it up. Ghoul, you’d better go help them.’

     ‘Gladly,’ Frank snatched up the hair dye and dragged Party into the bathroom, closing the door behind them.

     ‘And if I hear any kissing in there, I swear to _god_ -‘

     ‘KOBRA, SHUT UP!’

    

*****

 

     Okay, Party had to admit, Ghoul hadn’t been wrong about the hair. Their new bright red locks were striking, and they’d take some time to get used to, but boy did they look _badass_.

     ‘See?’ Ghoul’s smiling face popped up next to Party’s in the mirror. ‘Was I right?’

     ‘Shush, don’t ruin my moment.’

     ‘Yeah, but was I right?’

     ‘Fine, the color works. Now stop blocking the door so I can go show the others.’

     Party walked out of the bathroom into the gas station, where Kobra Kid and Jet Star were waiting. Kobra gave his sibling the once-over, then gave a lazy thumbs-up as a response.

     ‘I like it. And it took you a surprisingly short amount of time to dye it considering the other things you two could’ve been doing in there…’

     ‘Kobra,’ Party warned him through gritted teeth. Their brother backed up and out of the room, hands up in surrender.

     ‘Fine, fine, I was never here. The hair looks great!’

     Jet Star stood up to get a better look. ‘Good job, Ghoul. Nice choice.’

     ‘What, no thank you to me for putting up with my idiot brother?’ Party grumbled.

     ‘Well, I’m not saying he’s right, but you two would kinda look cute toge-‘

     ‘Okay, that’s enough. Shoo,’ Party shoved Jet out of the room while he and Ghoul both cracked up.

     ‘You do know they’re just messing with you, right?’ Ghoul told them between _incredibly_ girlish sounding giggles.

     ‘Yeah, but I’ve been poked around enough today, seeing as someone just drastically changed my appearance.’

     ‘But you look great!’ He put an arm around Party’s shoulders, or tried to, seeing as Ghoul was a good five inches shorter than them. ‘Party Poison, New and Improved!’

     ‘Oh, shut up.’

    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kidding about Frank's jacket, he looks hella hot in it, let me have some fun, k?

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, I'm kidding about Frank's jacket. He looks amazing in that outfit, let me have a little fun.
> 
> Also, I don't know if I'll bring any ships into future works in the series. In the meantime, please just be happy with Frerard screaming at each other and Mikeyway being Fucking Done™, k?
> 
> I'll try to update the series as often as I can, but I'm making no promises, classes are grueling.
> 
> Comments and creative criticism are welcome. It makes a writer's day to hear that someone like their work!


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